God from Nelson’s Head

There is a hidden miracle in London. I’ve gone to sit under it and stare up at it for three years now. Must I tell you? In the Nelson’s Head pub at the end of Horatio Street there hangs a picture of the head of God. It cannot be said to be a portrait. It is a real planet of a head. A demiurge with a wisp of infinity in place of a mustache. Eyes like clefts in the mountain of Tora Bora.

Only women can take its picture. When I tried it, a black abyss was all that appeared in the frame.

The barman tells everybody that it is his great-gandfather. If he told the truth then too many people would come here. And he prefers the quiet, his neighbors, and his regulars. They might steal it from him anyway. Paintings go missing on him. Once, one of his paintings was stolen and in its place he hung a sign with a request for the return of the painting, no questions asked. The sign was immediately stolen.

When this comes out in print you’d better hide that painting buddy!

Translated from the Czech by Andrew Malcovsky.

01.02.2010